the Brady Hawkins dance
by TwistedSweetie8
Summary: Brady hawkins is the opposite of sadie hawkins, you get the picture. pairingsHGxFW, HPxGWit's gonna be a short one, 2 maybe 3 chaps... oh well
1. the anouncement

Harry was asleep and dreaming. He was in a beautiful realm of sparkles and cotton candy. He was listening to beautiful yet non-existant music and he had a godess of a girl with him, life was good. As Harry pulled the woman close, inhaling the scent of blackberries from her soft red hair and...oh no! He was being pulled away. Actually he was being pushed away, a finger was in his eye, hios own! Oh, there was the fucking alarm clock going off again. He'd teach il to go off in the middle of a glorious dream like that! Oh, wait... alarm clocks are meant to get you up...

Harry opened his eyes and sat up. Running a hand through his hair he yawned and realized that for once; _Ron_ had gotten up before him. Harry scoffed to himself and went off to take a shower. After his shower harry headed to the dining hall, only to stop dead in his tracks in the common room. There was a huge crowd around the buliten board, it consisted of growning guys and squealing girls. Harry and co. were in their fifth year, so it was odd for Harry to see Seamus, Dean, Ron, and a few others standing in a distorted circle and grumbling loudly to one another. Whatever was on the board must be big... Harry had to see what was going on. When Harry finally elbowed his way through the angry/delighted gathering he was shocked at what the large sign read; it was a notice from Dumbledore, and it went like this

_hear ye hear ye,_

_on December twenty-eighth of this fine year, there is to be a ball of sorts. I have it on good authority that many young men are too chickenshit to ask our fair Hogwartz maidenry to any and all dances. This is quite honestly one of the most stupid things that Ms. Patil and Ms. Brown have ever forceably told me. I am simply disgusted, and quite dissapointed with all of you young pussy lads, and therefore have cast a spell that any boy too fearful of rejection to ask one of our fine young ladies will not be allowed to enter, and will have the word 'PUSSY' stamped on their foreheads in hot pink bold letters. HAHA! I win! now leave me to my lemondrops._

Harry shook his head, the old coot had really gone off his rocker this time.

"He's gone bloody mad that one has!" Ron's voice said from Harry's right. Harry nodded

"That's exactly what I was thinking, pity isn't it?" He replied

"yeah..." Ron said. "Well then Harry, who are you gonna invite?"

"Your sister..." Harry said absent-mindedly as he walked towards the dining hall.

"WHAT!" Ron spluttered loudly,_ oopsydaisys _Harry thought as the redhead behind him sped up angrily.

"Hey look Ron, " Harry yelled over his shoulder " I've got to go do- em... something... bye now!" Harry started to run just as Ron landed right where he had just been in a full on atempt-to-tackle.

X

Hermione slowed down as she heardfootsteps running to catch up with her. She glanced back and gulped, she had seen a streak of red hair and pasty skin heading her way, uh-oh, moment of truth._ 'Wait,'_ Hermione thought '_too tall, who? No, not who, why.'_

"Hi (pant) Hermione (wheeze)." said a Weasley twin.

"Hello fred/ george, which one _are_ you anyway? I can't see your eyes."

"It's me, Fred." said the now recovered and identified Weasley.

"Well, what is it you want Fred?" Hermione chided, now slightly softer in speech.

"I wanted to ask you something, I know that you don't want to go to the dance with Ron, because he's doing that annoying semi-stalkerish thing that's creeping everyone out, so I was wondering if I could save you the trouble of making up some dumb stomach cramp excuse and missing the whole party, 'cause if your taken already then he can't really bug you about it, and as long as he doesn't know that it's my then we're fine." Fred said hurridly. Hermione looked confused for a minute, finally she said

"Fred? Did you just ask me to the dance?" they had stopped walking now, Fred shuffled his feet and nodded. Hermione grinned

"I'd be delighted to go with you! Thanks Fred." Hermione said, they started to walk again, slowly this time. Hermione stopped, Fred stopped too. She glanced at him, he was looking at her, and for about a second they locked eyes. Hermione started kissing Fred, Fred kissed her back, they started making out and stumbled into a closet (conveniantly located just a few feet away) and promptly fell onto Harry, who had been cowering in the corner. Hermione turned the light on and gave Harry a funny look.

" I accidentally told Ron that I was going to ask Ginny out and he chased me until I lost him by hiding in here and now I'm trapped in here with another Weasley! PLEASE don't hurt me oh great twin of red hair and- hey, you were just making out with Hermione! " Harry said in a strang jumbled mixup of words and emotions, his fear suddenly turning into overprotective anger.

"Uhh..." said Fred

"wait, did you just say trapped?" Hermione asked Harry in a frightened tone.

"Oops..." said Harry Fred just grinned

"s'okay, I've gotta key!" Hermione and Harry turned to look at him incredulously

"what? It's a long story." he said defensively he sighed and pulled the thing out of his pocket, he opened the door and let harry out, stopping Hermione before she could exit the small room. Harry turned to them expectantly.

"You can leave," Fred said

"we have unfinished buisness to attend to." Hermione stated with a giggle, Harry rolled his eyes and closed the door.

X TWO DAYS LATER

Harry squared his shoulders as he walked out of the bathroom. He was ready, he had righted things with Ron, Ron hadn't found Hermione and Fred snogging in any one of their numerous closets, and Harry had rehearsed. He walked into the common room and over to ginny (who was studying)

"Uh Ginny?" o great, his voice had cracked. He probably looked like a complete idiot standing there, so he sat down next to her on the sofa.

"Yes?" she said slightly uneasily

"Um, are you going to the dance with anyone? Yet I mean..." he started again ooh! He sounded like such a fool, he didn't even like dances!

"No, why, um... why do you ask?" Ginny said with a quaver

"I was wondering, umm, ehehm... doyouwannagotothedancewithme?" aahhh! He was such a fool!

"Well I'd like to go with you, but I don't want to dance, I'd much rather spike the punch, round up my friends and sibs, grab the munchies and some of said spiked punch, go up to the tower or somewhere and hang out... gahd I hate dances!" Ginny said with a shudder. Harry felt his face spasming into a smile, he hugged ginny but all he said was

"Great!"

**This one'll probably only have one or two chappies, I hope that you all like it and also that you reveiw, no reveiw, no next chapter veiw, that's my motto, yes it is! No it's not! I just made that up! Well, I gotta go, it's 23 minutes past my bedtime, it being 4:23AM an' all...**

**Toodles, ts**


	2. slightly mad

Yesterday, Harry had asked Ginny to the Brady Hawkins. She awoke from some very good dreams the next morning feeling refreshed and relaxed. It was, after all, a Friday. Ginny went off to take her morningly shower, tripping on something on the way there. That something was her other foot. Her good mood spoiled by what she considered to be the largest female feet humanly possible, Ginny tromped off angrily to her shower. Ten minutes later she threw on some dark bluejeans, socks and sneakers, and a scoop neck black neck t-shirt that said 'I'm just one big F#&ing ray of sunshine aren't I?'in orange letters. She looked at herself in the mirror and decided to change the shirt, she was pretty happy today, and the saying was meant sarcastically. She settled on one that was red with white lettering on it that said 'WARNING: KLEPTOMANIAC CROSSING' and had a little figure grabbing stuff as it walked. She shrugged at her reflection and dried her hair with a wandless spell, throwing on her robes and grabbing her bookbag. Ginny headed down the stairs of the girls dorm just in time to catch up to Hermione in the common room. Ginny smiled and slowed her pace to walk with her friend.

"Hey, Hermione, are you going to the dance with anybody yet?" Ginny asked conversationally

" Why, are you trying to pick me up? I thought you were going with Harry."Hermione replied with a smirk that could rivale Malfoy's, Ginny rolled her eyes

"I am, I was just curious is all... how many times has Ron asked you yet?" Ginny questioned

"Eight and counting, he's really getting to be annoying with this whole creepy semi-stalkerish thing." Hermione replied, voice reflecting how annoyed she was.

"Hmm..." said Ginny

"What?" asked Hermione

"Oh nothing..." said Ginny

"Come on, tell me!" Hermione almost whined, growing impatient

"Well, it's not really that important, but that's exactly how Fred phrased it when we were talking about it the other day." Ginny said, shrugging her shoulders. Hermione laughed nervously

" I guess I've been spending too much time with the twins, pretty soon I'm going to start worshiping the Ramones even though there a muggle band." Hermione said

"Only Fred worships Ramones, and he'll only start ranting about them after you've been talking to him for a couple of hours. And what's with all the turtlenecks, they _really_ don't do you justice you know." Ginny rambled. Hermione laughed nervously again,

"Waaaay too much tome...So, what are you gonna wear to the dance? Maybe this hogsmead weekend we could go shopping together or something." Hermione said, effectively changing the subject. They had arrived at the Gryffindor table in the great hall, Ginny grabbed a plate and sat down before responding:

" I'd love to go, but let's go really early so that we can pick out the nicest dresses, I don't know about you, but I'm wearing jeans under mine." Hermione also took a plate and sat down before replying:

"that sounds great, the jeans part especially, I hate wearing dresses and skirts because I feel as though there's nothing between my legs." Ginny giggled as she heaped scrambled eggs and sausage onto her plate.

"No offense Herms, but that didn't sound right." Ginny said, Hermione took a moment to think about it before giggling and nudging Ginny with her elbow.

A few minutes later Harry and Ron came and sat down with the girls, Harry smiled nervously at Ginny and grabbed a plate, Ginny smiled back. Ron turned to Hermione and said

"so, didja dump that ass 'ole to come with me to the dance yet?"

"Nine." Hermione said to Ginny, who rolled her eyes, Hermione mimed stabbing herself in the stomach as Fred and George came up behind them.

" Careful little bro, your killing her with all your smart little pickup lines." Said George, plopping down on one side of Hermione while Fred plopped down on the other side, they started filling up their plates as Ron's anger boiled just under the surface. Fred thought fast;

"um, Hermione, I totally spaced on that assignment for advanced arithmancy, do you think that you could help me with it before class?" Hermione smiled gratefully at him, glad of an excuse to ditch Ron.

"Well, we've only got half an hour or so, we'd better get moving, let's go back to the common room to work on it." She said, Fred nodded and they took their plates and left.

"Merlin, I'm almost starting to miss him, he's always hanging out with her an' all." said George, shaking his head as he dug in. Ginny's head snapped up, she started doing a sort of happy dance in her seat. All three of the boys turned to look at her strangely.

"I know who Herms is going to the ball with!" she cried happily, Ron stood up, knocking his glass of pumpkin juice over in the process,

"Who is he? I'll bloody kill him!" Ron cried angrily Ginny grabbed Harry in 'fear', and Harry to the rescue said

"Um, Ron? I wouldn't if I were you, he's much larger than you!" Ron rounded on harry, hurt in his eyes

"you knew? You knew and you didn't tell Ron! Ron loves Hermione, he would never hurt her! Ron must go find Hermione and Prove his love to her!" and with that, Ron, foaming at the mouth, went off to go seek out the fair Hermione and do something most likely crazy, stupid, horrible, and completely weird to her and/or Fred, ran clumsily out of the dining hall.

"Oh dear." said Harry, Ginny, and George in unison.

"Wait, how do you know who Hermione's going to the dance with?" Ginny asked George

"I don't! It just seemed like the right time to say 'oh dear' and- good lord, it's Fred isn't it?" George said, finally catching on

"yes!" Harry hissed

"and how did you know Harry?" asked Ginny suspiciously

"Ron was chasing me because I accidentally told him that I was going to ask you to the dance with me and I hid in a closet and they turned out to be auto lock-"

"We've got a key." interjected George

"I'm getting to that bit." said harry

" and I heard voices coming from-"

"in your head?" George interrupted again

"no, and shut up! Anyway, I heard voices coming from outside and a few minutes later Fred and Hermione stumbled in making out with each other and sort of fell on me and Hermione turned on the lights and I told them how the doors were auto-lock and Fred let me out with your guys' key and he and Hermione stayed in there..." Harry finished.

"Ooh, now I get the whole turtleneck thing." Ginny said

" wait, whaaaa?" said George" so let me get this straight, your going out with my sister, Ron's gone quite mad, and Fred's going out with Hermione?"

"Please don't hurt me but... yes." said Harry

"wait, we're going out?" said Ginny to Harry

"well, if you want to..." said Harry with a blush, Ginny responded by kissing Harry lightly, Harry grinned and Ginny smiled back.

"OK, I won't hurt you, but you might want to refrain from kissing her less then a foot away from me." said George menacingly, Harry paled and nodded.

"Well, let's go then." said Ginny

"What?" said the boys in unison, Ginny shook her head at the inferiority/stupidity of the male race and said:

" Let's go get Ron, you idiots."

"Oh..." said Harry, looking just the slightest bit crestfallen

"good." said George, standing up to go with them.

**Well, short but sweet right? This story is fun to write so I'm doing it while I'm having computer troubles with my other story**

**Jessy E. Thank you for reveiwing, check out my other fic on my profile.**


	3. Hermione is now a bitch

Fred and Hermione giggled over breakfast in the common room, completely unaware that 'Ron the Ravager' (as he had dubbed himself on the way over) was close to their safe-haven.

Ginny had summoned harry's broom and was flying at top speed, he had also lent her his invisibility cloak (which fit her quite nicely), and she felt like a super-hero.

Ron felt a strange gust of wind pass him as he was about to enter the common room. Ginny tried to suppress the cackle that was building up in her throat as she grabbed Fred with one hand and Hermione with the other, she flew up the girls' dorm stairs, and hit the wall laughing manically.

Ron walked into the common room, hearing an echo of laughter. A shiver went down his spine, he could've sworn it was Ginny's crazy, daunting laughter, but she was eating breakfast, so he poked around for a while before finally going to look for Hermione elsewhere.

X

Fred and Hermione tugged the cloak off of Ginny, who's foot was sticking out and twitching as she laughed. Hermione waited patiently for Ginny to stop her hysterics, while Fred started to crack up right along with his little sister, not sure why, but making the best of it none-the-less. When the storm of laughter had ceased , Hermione smiled and looked at Ginny expectantly

"well? Is there a reason for all this?" Hermione asked, Ginny giggled and replied:

"Ron was on his way to bash in the head of whoever he had decided Hermione must be going to the dance with... I was just trying to keep you both out of harm's way." Hermione rolled her eyes

"and you couldn't think of _any_ other way to warn us? what about an owl or something? Do you always have to be quite so creative?" Ginny looked at Hermione solemnly, Nodded her head once and said

"yes." before bursting into a fit of giggles. Fred started to laugh again before his head snapped up and he gaped at Ginny

"you figured out how to get into the girls dorm, I mean, get guys into the girls' dorm! George and I have been trying to do that forever! I mean, we thought of brooms, but those pesky prefects are always about...and **someone**'s always in the common room...and other stuff, but we never thought to use the invisibility cloak! Not that Harry would let us if he knew what we were planning but wow! Little sis! You've outdone us! All hail the new Weasley menace! Wait'll I tell George! He'll flip his shit that one will! " Fred kept going on like this for a while, finally stopping to breathe, and the first bell rung. Ginny stowed the broom and cloak in a chest at the foot of her bed, padlocked it, and ran to join harry in her first class.

X

As Ginny walked into advanced DADA, she felt someone's gaze upon the back of her neck, she took her seat next to Harry and turned slightly to see who was looking at her so intently. It was Malfoy, as usual. She had noticed him looking at her on several occasions, it was beginning to make her uncomfortable. She focused back on the lesson and smiled at Harry brightly. He returned the smile and turned to face the teacher as he began to talk.

Two hours later, George, harry, Fred, and Hermione were hunting for Ron in the study hall. Hermione, had agreed to be the bate. She, along with Seamus (who they had coerced into staying with her via a small sum of chocolate frogs), sat calmly next to each other while Seamus whispered 'sweet nothings' into Hermione's ear. Harry hid behind a book case, George hid behind one across the aisle from him, Ginny hid crouched at the 'happy couple's' feet, and Fred stood ready at the door, waiting for Ron. They were all equipped with giant butterfly nets that oozed slightly because George had transfigured them from squid...quite badly. As they waited, Ron was doing his first sweep of the castle that lunch, and he was having no luck. He walked stealthily towards the study hall, nostrils flaring as he finally caught a whiff of her shampoo in the air. His head snapped to attention, he picked up his pace, and opened the great study hall doors. Low and behold, there sat Hermione, giggling as Seamus blew softly in her ear. Fred, preoccupied with his own jealousy and frustration, neglected to notice Ron sneaking past him, whispering

"my precious" softly...and drooling.

"I got him!" yelled Fred as Ron came into his field of vision, he lunged forward to capture the crazy fiend. But Fred slipped in a pile of the butterfly net's ooze and landed flat on his face, the slippery net flew out of his hands and landed on his head, immediately constricting around his upper body as it was designed to.

"BLAAAGARGH!" George yelled as he perfectly executed a flying spin-tackle and captured Ron as he ran away from Fred.

Hermione fell off her chair laughing as everyone in the hall turned towards the two weasley brothers caught in giant oozing butterfly nets, another yet laughing maniacally in a puddle of bluish slime, and Ginny and Hermione rolling on the floor hysterically. Harry walked out from behind his bookshelf and stifled a giggle as he helped Ginny off the ground. George pulled himself together and stood up, marching Ron out of the study hall with a flourish. Hermione hit Seamus on the arm lightly and marched over to Fred, who was still trying to get out of his tight, oozing mess. Hermione zapped the net and it dissipated in a puff of steam. She hauled him to his feat and he dusted himself off. The gang marched Ron into the room of requirement and tied him to a chair before zapping the still oozing net away. Hermione sat on a purple sofa in front of him. Fred sat next to her.

"Ron," she started as Ron struggled to reclaim his breath.

"I have never wanted anything romantic to do with you, nor will I ever. We are going to keep you here, in the room of requirement, until you reclaim your sanity. Yes, I am going out with your brother-"

"which one!" Ron cried

"-Fred, but that does not mean I value your friendship at all and at doesn't mean that I want to spend any time with you. Leave me alone, creepy little red-head. At least until you stop calling me your precious. Goodbye."

"But-" Ron squeaked

"I said good bye!" Hermione shouted, pulling a chocolate cake out of a slot in the wall and smearing it all over his head and in his mouth, ears, and nostrils. Ron began to cry, a brown bubble of snot rose from his nose and popped.

**_thank you to everyone who reveiwed, and to those who read this, PLEASE, please review, i'm starving for some good reviews, so go on, push the little purpley button, just say good job or that sucked or something, please. _**

**_toodles, ts_**


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